5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
