I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize