I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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