i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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