so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I need to calm my uterus...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
