Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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