thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just want nice things and good sex
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize