No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My penis needs a shock collar
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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