She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
