I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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