Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Two words: blizzard sex
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize