ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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