did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize