Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
