this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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