I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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