I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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