so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
