We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
