i wish semen tasted like chocolate
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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