69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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