I don't usually arrange sex via text message
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
