Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
