He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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