He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
