I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
