Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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