just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize