he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
