But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
