I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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