i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
