she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
