we have pet lesbian snakes
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
That accounts for only three of the penises
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize