I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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