this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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