I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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