It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
