Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize