i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
