her vagine was all disorganized.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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