Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize