This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
