We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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