another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
