apparently the secret to your success is patron
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
