so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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