carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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