It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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