Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
