I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
