Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
so explain again why im purple
no
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
