he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
