i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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