fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize