yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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