I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
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