420 ftw
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We have started to decorate penises.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
