yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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