i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
